It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
