Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
