And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
