You really coming over, don't trick.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We got so high we made milksteak
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
