turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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