so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
