Please, let me fuck your mom
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
are you so shy because you have an std?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
