I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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