did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
