Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
