He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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