bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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