omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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