this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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