If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
