using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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