So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
