Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
