You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I stole a fireplace last night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
