Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
this beer tastes like vomit already
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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