i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
