do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
