Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
