You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
