arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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