I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
