Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
