drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
