i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
