I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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