Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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