Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
