Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
