i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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