My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize