I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
