new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
