i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize