Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
