Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
