My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
