so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
