I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
