I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
the room spins SO much faster in panama
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
