I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
