I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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