i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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