You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
