Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
