Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
