I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize