Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
