I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Randomize