He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
