Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
