there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
