I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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