hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
