I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize