so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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